Pedler: Hey, Gal! A Letter to the Counterperson I Used to Be 

Dear 20-something Courtney, 

Hey gal! I see you working your butt off in auto parts stores and warehouses, trying to find the right fit, but with no real plan. Here’s some unsolicited advice (I know how much you dislike unsolicited advice, but I also know how much you love lists). 

1. I cannot begin to describe how much technology and work is going to change during your career. Start noticing content. There is a whole community dedicated to it. You will first encounter it by the name of NCMA, and it will be renamed ACPN. These are your people.That information you see every time you look up a part in a paper catalog or on a computer? Ask questions about it. Where does it come from? How is it created? Who is creating it? What are their qualifications? This technology will change so quickly that you will be asking these same questions for the rest of your life. You may not think you’re ready to consider a career path in automotive aftermarket content, but doing things before you think you’re ready will become a theme, and you will rise to the challenge.
   
   
2. Actually, that last bit deserves its own bullet. A lot of time has passed between you and me, and I can confirm that you will rise to the challenge 100% of the time. Fear not, grasshopper. You’re going to accomplish some things.
   
   
3. Just now, did you get up and go to the kitchen to see if there’s enough milk and cereal for dinner? Try to focus. This is important. If there was no milk and cereal or money to buy milk and cereal, check the inside pocket of the blue jacket. There’s ten dollars in there.
   
   
4. Just now, did you get up and go look for money in that jacket? What did I just say? Focus. This is important.
   
   
5. Join the Women in Auto Care community as soon as it enters your consciousness. You will need the support of other women. One of the harshest truths you will face is that more casual misogyny, sexual harassment, and discrimination will be directed at you in the future, and it will continue for decades. Men (and occasionally women) will hurt your feelings and disappoint you by using your gender against you. It will usually come as a surprise. They will insult your intelligence. They will make you feel small and stupid. Continue to work hard and grow your knowledge base. Know that you are not small or stupid, and vindication will come later.
   
   Eventually, this bad behavior from others will stop, right about the time you’re finally in a position to do something about it. When that time comes, know that not much has gotten better, you’ve just ‘aged out’ as a target of this shameful and wrong cultural practice. It is indeed still happening, just not to you. Use your influence to advocate for women in automotive and shine a light on bad behavior. By this time, you will not need to worry about losing your job by speaking out. It will cost you nothing you didn’t need to lose anyway. Any bridges you burn were broken-down disintegrating structures in desperate need of replacement.
   
   
6. Find a mentor. Actually, find more than one. They’re there waiting for you to reach out. Trust someone. Ask questions and solicit advice. Your hyper independence, a defining personality trait that will carry you far, will work against you here. Notice where it might be holding you back. And in case I scared you with that last pro tip, gender doesn’t matter right now. You will meet countless wonderful, generous, emotionally intelligent colleagues who care about you and will freely offer help and support. Later in your career, be this person for someone else.
   
   
7. Do not get that tattoo. Yes, you’re a Leo. Don’t make it your whole identity. I understand that in a battle of wills with my 20-year-old self, I will lose. You’re still going to get the tattoo. But please don’t get the tattoo. (Sigh. I see you got the tattoo.)
   
   
8. You probably know this by now, but battery acid is going to ruin every article of clothing you wear to work, no matter how careful you are. For chemistry reasons I still don’t understand, the holes won’t appear in your clothing until it comes out of the dryer. I think they make some sort of heavy-duty apron to prevent this from happening.
   
   
9. You will spend years of your life trying to explain your job to people both in and out of the industry. Here’s how it will go down. For the first few years, you will earnestly tell people when they ask. This is a terrible idea. They may not know it until you start talking, but they don’t want to know.
   
   Then you’ll spend a few years developing an elevator pitch. No matter how short it is, the response will always be “Wow. That’s interesting.” This remark will be followed by an awkward silence as you struggle to change the subject.
   
   Later, you’ll start leaning into the awkwardness and begin the elevator pitch with “My job is only interesting to about ten people. I will describe it until your eyes glaze over, and then I will stop.” Eventually, someone will respond with “Wow. That really is boring,” followed by an awkward silence. Make that person your best friend.
   
   My approach now is to say, “My job is only interesting to about ten people. Fortunately, I am one of them,” and then I stop talking. This creates an aura of mystery. The other person will be unable to contain their curiosity and say that now they must know what I do for a living. Then, with conviction, I say that I work in a zoo where I care for baby pandas. The baby pandas never willingly go where I need them to go, so I contain them in 45-gallon garbage cans on wheels and push them around the zoo to their appointments. The other person either believes me or assumes I’m in witness protection, and I’m good with either of those outcomes.
   
   
10. At the risk of causing some sort of predestination paradox, here’s some dating advice. I can’t remember his name anymore, but you’ll finally get a date with your crush, who works at a parts store down the street. I realize now that this does not narrow it down at all. Regardless, don’t go on that date. You’ll go for a drink at Urban Lounge, and he’ll FALL ASLEEP while you’re talking. You’ll spend the next ten years wondering if you’re really that boring.
    
    Also, Maurice is cute, and he’s got that black leather jacket, but he’s also dumb. Not even lovably dumb. Just dumb. Go on that date if you must, but for hell’s sake, don’t loan him any money.
    
    
11. Here's the part where I tell you it all works out. It does, and I know 75-year-old Courtney would tell us the same thing. Never in the way we expect, and occasionally in ways that will make us want to call mom, dad, and a therapist in the same afternoon. But the industry we stumbled into by nepotism turns out to be full of brilliant, slightly unhinged people who will become our closest colleagues and friends. You are going to love this work, even when it drives us crazy. We have no regrets.
    
    Except for the tattoo.